Anyway, his name translates to Bernd the Breadloaf, but I’ve always thought of him as Burnt Bread. So why am I thinking of him today? Well, unlike Mr. Breadloaf (who isn’t really burnt), I have moved well beyond lightly toasted and fallen full on into the flames.
The worst part of my current bout with burnout is that I have an endo appointment on Monday. I did get my labs done, so there is one point in my favor. However, the fact that I haven’t worn a sensor all week is going to leave a pretty big info gap in my pump download. Every day I promise myself I’ll insert a new sensor tomorrow. And every tomorrow I put it off yet another day. I’m also randomly grazing and bolusing instead of counting carbs and eating actual meals. My Fitbit is laughing at me because I’m barely getting any steps in. And the leftover Halloween candy considers me its new best friend based how often I visit.
So I’m dreading Monday’s appointment even more than usual. My endo is great and I’ll be completely honest with him about what is going on. But I can’t help but be very embarrassed to admit how little I care about my diabetes these days.
Just call me Burnt das Karen.
Maybe the advantage of not having much data for your endo is that you'll be forced to spend a lot of the appointment talking about your mental health and D-burnout. Chances are your Doc will have one or two suggestions that will help you get back on track. And put that Fitbit back on and take extra trips up the stairs! As I've told you before, every time I take multiple trips upstairs when one would do, I always think of you and the blogpost you wrote about that:-) http://www.bittersweetdiabetes.com/2014/05/being-less-efficient.html
ReplyDeleteAw Karen, it's okay. I just finished writing a post about how I know I'd be giving into burn out if I wasn't growing a tiny human inside and I'm feeling burnt out but yet I can't really let myself go there right now. It's okay! You're only human and this gets so dang tiring! Sometimes swaging, sometimes the candy bowl, sometimes the lack of walking is okay. From reading your blog for the amount of time I have I can see that you work hard at your diabetes management and you aren't failing at it, you're just tired. Just like we all get and that's okay. You'll get back to doing all the "right" things. :) Cut yourself some slack and don't beat yourself up. I have faith in you that you'll get back on track. Hugs!
ReplyDeleteSometimes it's just too much and we have to take a break. I've been off my meds since July and have been putting off getting an appointment even though my numbers continue to be very high. I finally broke down and called for a referal (my old endo moved to a new practice then I moved to a new town) and have my first appointment in a month. I hope your appointment goes well and you get your mojo back soon.
ReplyDeleteblessings
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