Over the years my reaction to my own diaversary seems to vary. I’ve been reflective, I’ve been light and cheery, I’ve been sad and tired, and I’ve been fed up and feeling guilty. All of last week I sifted through emotions trying to figure out how I feel this year, and in the end I realized I feel nothing. Pete and I could have celebrated yesterday, the day I usually choose to symbolize whatever day in December I was actually diagnosed, but it didn’t seem worth the effort. Yesterday symbolically marked 12,418 days I’ve lived with diabetes. Just a day like any other in the past 34 years. Today I make my way through my 12,419th day with diabetes. Hopefully I have at least 12,000 more ahead of me. It doesn’t feel like something to celebrate. It doesn’t feel like something to morn. I’m not angry or proud or much of anything. It just is what it is . . . . . . just another day in my life as I trek onward.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Thirty-Four . . . .
Diaversaries strike me as somewhat odd. Wishing someone a Happy Diaversary can feel awkward because I certainly would never wish diabetes on anyone. Yet I do want to cheer them on for the hard work they put into each year with diabetes.
Over the years my reaction to my own diaversary seems to vary. I’ve been reflective, I’ve been light and cheery, I’ve been sad and tired, and I’ve been fed up and feeling guilty. All of last week I sifted through emotions trying to figure out how I feel this year, and in the end I realized I feel nothing. Pete and I could have celebrated yesterday, the day I usually choose to symbolize whatever day in December I was actually diagnosed, but it didn’t seem worth the effort. Yesterday symbolically marked 12,418 days I’ve lived with diabetes. Just a day like any other in the past 34 years. Today I make my way through my 12,419th day with diabetes. Hopefully I have at least 12,000 more ahead of me. It doesn’t feel like something to celebrate. It doesn’t feel like something to morn. I’m not angry or proud or much of anything. It just is what it is . . . . . . just another day in my life as I trek onward.
Over the years my reaction to my own diaversary seems to vary. I’ve been reflective, I’ve been light and cheery, I’ve been sad and tired, and I’ve been fed up and feeling guilty. All of last week I sifted through emotions trying to figure out how I feel this year, and in the end I realized I feel nothing. Pete and I could have celebrated yesterday, the day I usually choose to symbolize whatever day in December I was actually diagnosed, but it didn’t seem worth the effort. Yesterday symbolically marked 12,418 days I’ve lived with diabetes. Just a day like any other in the past 34 years. Today I make my way through my 12,419th day with diabetes. Hopefully I have at least 12,000 more ahead of me. It doesn’t feel like something to celebrate. It doesn’t feel like something to morn. I’m not angry or proud or much of anything. It just is what it is . . . . . . just another day in my life as I trek onward.
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I am thankful that you are my friend and I love you,
ReplyDeleteXoxo
Kudos to you for living (that word is meaningful!) with diabetes for 34 years. And cheers to you to looking towards those next 12000 days!
ReplyDeleteWhether it's 12,000 or 50,000 you have left... I hope they are not all spent having to live with diabetes. That would be something to celebrate.
ReplyDeleteAnd whether you feel nothing - or everything - know that we all celebrate you and what you have given to the DOC community… and that's worth blowing out some sort of candle, right?
ReplyDeleteyou know what's interesting about this? I turned 34 a week ago.
ReplyDeleteI don't like wishing a happy diaversary but acknowledging it is more than enough. Onwards!
However you choose to celebrate, acknowledge, or ignore the mile marker is your perogative. :)
ReplyDeleteHere's to 34 years of life! Thank you for sharing it with us. I know I have been blessed by it. And you!
ReplyDeleteI have mixed feelings about diaversaries; on one hand, the fact that we're still alive and kicking is a good thing, but its really not something worth celebrating. My 37th was this summer and I didn't even think about it until after it happened. From my perspective, that means diabetes was kept in its proper place: out of mind!
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