Last night, I was a total idiot. Over and over again. It was like I threw everything I knew about diabetes management right out the window. I have no excuses. I was just plain stupid.It started late afternoon when I did my site change. An hour later, my CGM high alarm went off and a finger-stick showed me at 225. I decided the spike was due to the chips I ate with my tuna sandwich at lunch. The pump said I didn’t need a correction, so all was well.
An hour later, I was at 237. I took a correction and figured things would start heading down. After another hour, I was at 235 and by this time we were at my parent’s house for dinner. I started to wonder if perhaps my new site was bad. But (Idiotic Move #1) I bolused a bunch more insulin and ate dinner anyway.
After dinner, my CGM showed me soaring towards 300. Of course, there was no way I was going to be easting dessert. And then my mom said “I have a special treat tonight. I made a pound cake and I have strawberries and whipped cream. We can pretend it’s summer and eat strawberry shortcakes.” I blame Idiotic Move #2 on the fact that the snow is driving me slightly insane.
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| This is a snow pile in a parking lot near my house. I'm so not kidding. You'd be insane too. |
That’s right. You guessed it. I SWAGGED a bunch more insulin and ate strawberry shortcake. Even though my CGM said I was nearing 300. And no, I hadn’t tested since before dinner because I didn’t really want to see that I was actually well over 300.
By now it was clear to me that the new site was crap and I needed to change it out immediately. So what did I do? Did Pete and I go straight home? Nnnoooooooo, we took a quick trip to the grocery store instead. (Idiotic Move #3, for those keeping track.) Clearly my pressing need for an onion and two peppers was much more important than insulin, right?
So, we grabbed our bag of groceries and headed home. The minute we walked in the door, I ran upstairs and did a site change. Which seems like the smart thing to do, right? Nope. Because (Idiotic Move #4) I didn’t test my blood sugar before doing the site change. In fact, I hadn’t tested my blood sugar since before dinner. And wouldn’t you know it, the exact minute I filled the cannula on the new site, my CGM alarmed. I looked down to see “Fall Rate” flashing at me, and the CGM reading 230 with two rapid down arrows. The old site has been working fine. A finger-stick showed my blood sugar was actually 147 - which would seem like a good thing. Until you take into account all of the insulin I had been (idiotically) swagging all evening. I had almost 6 units on board. And the juice I drank did not keep me from hitting a blood sugar of 38 by 9:30 pm.
Why did I do such a crappy job last night? Why didn’t I test more? Why did I eat dinner and dessert instead of waiting to get a handle on my blood sugar first? I don’t know. I’m embarrassed to say I have no good reason for any of it. I had a very Idiotic Night with diabetes.
That was kind of me on Saturday. Don't be too hard on yourself. One day isn't going to make or break your management and control. Try to just focus on today.
ReplyDeleteSorry to hear you had such a rough day. Try not to be too hard on yourself, though. We're only human.
ReplyDeleteWhy?
ReplyDeleteSo you could write about it and help the rest of us not make the same mistake(s).
Oh yum, strawberry shortcake in January!
I feel like this happens to me way too often, and it makes me feel better that I'm not alone!
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, the snow is starting to make me a bit squinty too >)
You did a crappy job because you are human. None of us want to deal with this stuff. When we take a day and don't, its OK. Not healthy, but OK. ((hugs))
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to everything including the snow banks, winters can where on ya! It what you do the other 80% that counts.
ReplyDeleteI will send you a pick that looks almost identical:) Take care.
I think you took a day off...you know...as much as could minus site changes, watching trends, and counting carbs for the SWAG.
ReplyDeleteYou're just bad-ass like that!
Love ya :)
Um, I have an answer: #blamediabetes. I've lived a similar story to this a few times. It's not easy being a pancreas.
ReplyDeletePancreating is a FULL TIME job...let alone living your life and having a REAL job Karen! Not "idiotic" at all. It is called being "human" dear friend.
ReplyDelete(((HUGS)))