Basically, I just feel . . . done.
I know, I know. Having a bad attitude is fruitless. Staying positive is important. Diabetes isn't going anywhere. I need to keep doing these things, no matter how tired of them I may feel. And I AM doing these things. My diabetes management hasn't slipped, even if my attitude has.
I'll keep going. I don't have a choice, so I'll do what I have to. I won't surrender. I can't wave that white flag. But sometimes . . . sometimes I just get sick of it all. And I wonder if I'm the only one who feels this way.
You are absolutely not alone! When you deal with this disease day in and day out it gets exhausting especially since we can't take a diabetes-vacation. When this happens to me I allow myself to feel down for a little bit then I pick myself up and get back to dealing. It helps me during these down times to ask for help. My bf will help me count the carbs at dinner.
ReplyDeleteCompletely not alone.
ReplyDeleteWe are all moving along, making the best of it because we have to. Just because you let yourself feel a little down every once doesn't mean you aren't doing your best to deal with it. It just means you are human. That's what we are all here for - to get each other through those times. The DOC has a tremendous power, and is wonderful and was born and flourished because of a need. A need to get us all through those tough times. We are in this together, Karen. Hugs to you. :)
Same here. Ever since I got back from vacation my highs have been rampant. I can't seem to do anything about them. :( It makes everything so frustrating.
ReplyDeleteHere's to keepin' on keepin' on. Blah.
I disagree about attitude; personally, I use my anger to stay on top of things because without it, I wouldn't do much (see my post from today at http://bit.ly/cR688Z for more). But we all handle things differently, and occasionally, it is easier to just forget about it for a time. Today, I didn't bolus for my breakfast, and it was at 311 and climbing by the time I realized my mistake. We just deal and move on, with no regrets!
ReplyDeleteYou are definitely not alone. Sometimes D is just overwhelming and you can't help wanting to quit. But your doing so well by not allowing yourself to quit. I am proud of you. Hang in there you'll feel better soon.
ReplyDeleteYou aren't the only one, there are times I just feel worn smooth
ReplyDeleteI'm with you completely. I'm a T2 and don't have the rigourous demands that you do as far as monitoring, etc, but between the D, the migraines, migraine meds that spike my bs into the 350+ range, the high blood pressure, etc, etc, etc...I'm exhausted. Hang in there. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteDefinitely not alone. I'm *so over* diabetes right now. It seems like the harder I try, the less it cooperates.
ReplyDeleteI wish we could take a vacation from it every now and again.
I feel the same way, and it's only been 4 months since my diagnosis! It's hard to tell if I'm cut out for this.
ReplyDeleteFirst time commenter. Thanks for the blog!
I agree with everyone. I also allow myself to feel tired and then move on. Just tell people you can't be Super Woman today because your cape is still at the cleaner's. Metaphorical tomorrow will be a better day.
ReplyDeleteI feel like this every day :(
ReplyDeleteIt's hard!
No advice - just a big hug with the comment, "I know how you feel."
ReplyDeleteYou are not the only one Karen! Sometimes its hard to keep a positive attitude 100% of the time because we know this is pretty much forever! Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteHeck no your not the only one. Obviously from the other commenters you are not alone. For me I sometimes want to wear all white, drive a white car and live in an all white house just to show how much I'm done! Then reality kicks me in the butt and I know I have to kick box my way through it. Sometimes diabetes has me against the ropes but never for long.
ReplyDeleteI hope you get your mojo back Karen! I'm praying for you :0)
You're not alone. At least once a week, my son declares he's done. That he will not check his sugar one more time. Kills me.
ReplyDeleteI'm having that attitude. I need a day off...just a little vacation Diabetes...Please. Instead, it decides to throw fits of rage where i am super high for no reason, affecting my mood and my plans... GIVE IT UP DIABETES!!!! I'M BUSY
ReplyDeleteNope and what I think is awesome is your ability to admit that you have crappy feelings and that you know it will pass. You just told everyone that you are human but you aren't giving up. Love it.
ReplyDeleteThe DiabeticDuo
You are definitely *not* alone Karen! I believe we all have times when we feel this way. How can we not? But just keep in mind those a1c's that you get .... they don't happen for no reason. And you should give yourself credit for all the hard work you put into diabetes!
ReplyDeleteRight there with you, sister!
ReplyDeleteToday, it was looking at my fingers ravaged by almost 20 years of finger sticks and I wondered whether, if there were a cure (or a non-invasive testing method), they could ever heal.
I believe that deep down we all must do it for ourselves but the reality is that most of the time we come second in life. We take care of our children, our parents and our friends and neglect ourselves. I test, workout, watch what i eat for others, I want to be there for all the special moments in life with the special people in my life. I like to say that everytime I do something positive for my diabetes I am giving my loved ones a "HUGG & KISS" . I gave 4 "H&K" today on top of the ussual real ones. Be strong and give lots of H&Ks.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it's because I'm a nurse. Or maybe because I'm a mother? I don't know.
ReplyDeleteBut I'd love to have each of you sweet PWDs over for a fresh baked (gluten free) cookie and I'll take care of all the D stuff for a bit!!!!!!
I realize that sounds silly to an adult, but it's how I deal with Addy. Sometimes she's gung-ho and wants to participate in the daily grind. Other times, she's just sick of it.
And I get sick of it too...but we have each other. When she's all grown up, and dealing with this on her own...I imagine I'll have a plate of cookies waiting.
No, you're not alone. It's a natural feeling. "Normal" people don't get faced with their own mortality on a daily basis. Just keep swimming! (Dory the fish, in Finding Nemo) I've been there, and a bad attitude may not seem to have much impact on your diabetes control, but for me it meant I could let little things slip, gradually. And before I knew it, it had all turned to custard. So I had been trying really hard. That's my new motto. Trying really hard. And it's made a difference for me. I feel like I have a bit of control back, and I feel a bit healthier and happier. But it's nothing your doc or your family or friends can do. It has to come from within. :)
ReplyDeleteYou are so not alone in feeling this way. It is so tiring to have to deal with the constant carb counting, the worrying about lows and highs, etc. It's like having a second job! I'm right there with you. It's nice to vent about it to people who understand.
ReplyDeleteI don't know that " Having a bad attitude is fruitless." I think sometimes a bad attitude can spark a change in our behavior and thinking if we let it. Maybe journaling more and more about that bad attitude will give us both some ideas on how to deal with being sick & tired of being sick & tired.
ReplyDelete(@WEGOSarah)
Just catching up on some blog reading, so I know this post is a few days old . . . but hoping you're feeling better and not still in the bluks. Hang in there. There's lots of support here just for you! (((hugs)))
ReplyDeleteI was just catching up on your blog and came across this post. It's funny because over the weekend I was feeling just like this. It's so hard not to get down and just feel over dealing with everything that comes with the D sometimes. The good news is that you're on top of your diabetes management and have a lot of support!
ReplyDelete