Actually, things really started going awry last night. I was low (52) before dinner, but I let the bolus wizard on my pump adjust for that. Dinner was a meal we eat fairly often and is kind to my blood sugar. A small steak, grilled asparagus and 27 carbs of grilled ciabatta bread. A few hours later, after setting up my new Revel pump, it was time to enter a current blood sugar reading to get the CGM going. (More on the new Revel soon!!) I was surprised to find myself at 153, with a slight correction needed. (Yes, I did base the correction on the active insulin according to my old pump, since my new pump was hooked up well after my dinner bolus.) Then the high alarms started going off - and since I hadn't even been wearing my new pump for 30 minutes yet, I knew it was not to blame for my highs.
Things got much worse from there. I was woken up to high alarms every hour until 2:45 am. Each time I needed another small correction. I knew my new pump was set up correctly, but I can't for the life of me figure out what the stubborn spike was all about.
Flash forward to 5:50am when the alarm went off. Pete and I got up and threw on our running clothes. I did a finger-stick . . . and found myself at 48. I drank some grape juice and ate a spoonful of peanut butter and was determined to make it through my run. Today we started Week 4, which alternates 3 minute and 5 minute runs with some walking in between. By the end of the first 5 minute run, my CGM showed me at 147 with two rapid up arrows. A finger-stick showed I was really at 87, so that wasn't a problem. The problem was the lack of sleep, the grape juice and the peanut butter - which swirled together to make me feel like I was going to vomit.
While Pete completed the second 3 and 5 minute run segments, I began to walk towards home. And I was so frustrated that I cried. I'm really trying to be healthy and active and lose some weight. I doubted I could make it through my first 5 minute run segment but I did - and I was very proud of that. But damn diabetes forced the lack of sleep and pre-run snacks that prevented me from finishing today's training. On Thursday we'll have to do Week 4 Day 1 all over again.
If I honestly couldn't do today's workout, I think I'd be less frustrated. But the fact that I might have been able to do it and diabetes held me back . . . that's exactly what caused me to be the girl in the new running shoes who cried all the way home.
I understand the frustration - a nasty experience. But you've got the resolve, and you put forth the effort. And that's fabulous.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry Karen. Sucky days like that are no fun. And diabetes holding us from doing something that normal people can do w/out even thinking about it....that's frustrating beyond belief. I hope you are feeling better now.
ReplyDeleteOh, poo.
ReplyDeleteAs I've said before, this is one of the biggest detractors G faces when it comes to exercising regularly. Though I don't know the feeling myself, it is quite frustrating on my end, too.
Hi! I'm new here. I've been reading your blog since I found it after my son was diagnosed in early March. I'm not sure if I've commented on your blog before, but I love it! : )
ReplyDeleteAnyway, the one thing I sense in your post is that you're not giving up. You might be frustrated. You might be sad. But you're not giving up.
THAT IS HUGE!!
And you know what? I needed that reminder today. Thank you!
Karen, I'm so sorry the D gave you such a hard time last night and this morning. I so admire your determination. Hang in there!
ReplyDeleteblessings
~*~
I had many similar experiences when I started working out again. It's incredibly frustrating to know that exercise makes diabetes a little better but diabetes is the reason why we can't some days. Here's hoping tomorrow will be better.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry Karen!! I understand how something like this could get you down, but you are amazing for trying so hard! Lows suck and I know the feeling of swooshing belly juices and food. ICK. We are all here for you :) (((((HUGS!!!)))) <---that was a BIG hug for you. :)
ReplyDeleteDagnabbit! I'm so sorry Karen.
ReplyDeleteI see you are still keeping your sense of humor though with a label of "ugly" or maybe that wasn't meant to be funny at all! :(
Lows suck :( Let's beat diabetes up and take its lunch money!
ReplyDeleteHang in there, friend (:-)
I can feel your frustration all the way on this side of the planet. But, get up and try and again. You ARE heading in the right direction. You will find the balance, don't give up...don't give up.
ReplyDeleteThe DiabeticDuo
I am so sorry Karen. I hate diabetes so much right now. I hate that it makes you and any of us cry.
ReplyDelete(((((((NINJAHUGS))))))))
And the little engine (AKA-Karen) said, "I think I can, I think I can."
ReplyDeleteWe know you will.
Celebrate your achievements!
PS - love that your dance video is on http://pumptri.com/, even if your head is chopped off. I knew who it was!
Oh how I wish crying burnt calories! After that last 12 years, I would be such a hottie!!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry you had one of those crying moments...but they are cleansing! Tomorrow is another day! I hope you can run/walk till your hearts content!
I am right there with you. A few months ago, I decided I was going to be a regular exerciser no matter how much my blood sugars pissed me off. And then, of course, I slacked off.
ReplyDeleteYou're inspiring me, though! And remember, when you cry after a botched exercise attempt, the whole DOC cries with you.
Hang in there Karen!
ReplyDeleteHow do you like the Revel...I'm upgrading in August but am wondering if I should just stick with the one I have?? Any cool features I can't do without??
Stinkin' D! I'm so sorry you had a rough night and that it continued into the AM. Totally not fun!!
ReplyDeleteGood for you for not giving up. :)
Great job!
I can't wait to hear more on your new pump!!
Oh, man, I hate when that happens! Diabetes sure can throw you a curve-ball now and then. And lack of sleep doesn't help the blood sugars any! It's amazing that you're not throwing in the towel, so to speak! Seriously, you're inspiring and look how many of us you have to cheer you on! Keep going so you can show the big D who the boss really is!
ReplyDeleteKaren, sometimes I think you can see right into my brain. This is such a well-written, great example of how working out can make me want to pull my hair out. As much as I know I should do it, I hate feeling like every calorie burned jut gets drunk in orange juice when that inevitable low hits. SO frustrating!!
ReplyDeleteHang in there girl! I'm so super impressed with your willpower!
I too have cried all the way home after attempts to run have been thwarted. But my issue was a knee injury that took forever to heal. I understand the frustration of having a willing mind but a temporarily unable body.
ReplyDeleteYou'll have good and bad days with exercising. Most people do. Don't get discouraged! You're doing awesome!
Aww sweetie that's no fair! It sux when diabetes does that to you. I used to go to the gym, go low, eat, and end up feeling fatter than when I started! It's not fair, as exercise can make blood sugars go up OR down. Keep at it, you will have a better day next time :D
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