Endo says too Low - with Snow . . .

Goofy rhyming post title aside, there are two things I dislike.  Snow and endo appointments.  Well actually, there are a lot of things I dislike - mashed potatoes, my creepy neighbor, using public bathrooms, the Diabetes Police  . . . I could go on and on.  But for today's purposes let's just focus on the snow and the endo.

I woke up Friday morning to see that vile white stuff floating down and thinking of the endo appointment I had that afternoon.  Don't get me wrong, snow is pretty - but it's also cold and wet and slippery and messy and I haven't really liked it since I hit my teenage years.  And my endo?  Well, he's nice and supportive and smart and really really great.  I just hate that I stress myself out over what my test results will show and I imagine how he'll be disappointed in me and then get all judgmental - even though he never, ever has.  It's really more my "internal endo" that I have an issue with, not my real endo.

So anyway, we ended up only getting about an inch of snow and the roads were well plowed by the time I got behind the wheel to drive to my appointment.

Once at Dr. F's office, I did the most painful part of any endo visit - paid my $40 co-pay. Ouch.  I barely had time to start a game of Guess My A1C on Twitter before I was called in for my appointment.  The first thing Dr. F said to me was "So, have you been having a lot of lows?"  At that point, I knew my A1C must rock - in fact, I think I said those words to him exactly.  And yes, at 5.9 I now have a lower A1C than I ever dreamed I could achieve.  But as it turns out, lower is not always better.  Dr. F had some reservations about how often I find myself below 40.  And although I really hate highs more than lows, I suppose I have to agree with him.

We talked about better managing my work-outs so I don't bottom out half-way through.  We looked for patterns where basal tweaks might be needed.  We talked about keeping my A1C under 6.5, but not necessarily under 6.0.  Especially at the cost of having daily readings in the 30s and 40s.  Then we went over the rest of my labs.  I always breathe a sigh of relief when all of the kidney and liver tests are passed with flying colors.  I'm happy that my cholesterol is playing nice.  The only problem is my Vitamin D stores, which are far too low and don't seem to want to come up.  (Note to Self: You have to get out in the sun more!!  All day inside with a laptop is no good!!)  I left with a prescription for a higher dose of Vitamin D and a lab slip for a blood draw in four months, before my next appointment.  (At least there won't be any snow that day.  And hopefully no mashed potatoes either!)

I also left with a bit of a crestfallen feeling.  In the past couple of years, I've worked so hard to wrangle my A1C down below 7 when that barely seemed possible.  It was quite a triumph to get under 6.5.  So to fall to 5.9 but know it's because of unsafe lows leaves me quite conflicted.  I feel like I want to celebrate for getting my A1C lower than I ever dreamed.  But at the same time, I feel the need to scold myself for allowing all those lows that made the 5.9 happen.

Am I happy?  Am I upset?  I just don't know.  Diabetes, you sure know how to screw with my head!!

Weakling??

Yesterday I woke up feeling not-quite-right. I dragged myself out of bed anyway, hoping that once I was up and functioning I'd feel better.  I headed to the lab to get my blood work done before my endo appointment on Friday.  Then I came home and had a cup of coffee, hoping it would rid me of the headache that was forming.  It didn't.  I spend the rest of the day napping between bouts of nausea and major sneezing fits.  I went to bed early, but I don't feel much better today.

The thing is, I'm not majorly sick.  I can keep down bland foods.  I'm able to put dinner in the crock-pot and a load of laundry in the washer.  But I'm not quite right either.  (Well, that point has been long since established - but you know what I mean!!)  It's like I'm on the edge of getting majorly sick, but taking it easy seems to be helping  me fend it off.

It seems I feel this way quite often.  Since the fall and winter started, I'd say I have days like this once a month or so.  I don't get "unable to function" sick - but I do get "need to rest up because something is not right" sick.  It makes me wonder about my immune system.  Is it a big 'ole weakling?  Does that fact that my pancreas said sayonara thirty years ago have anything to do with it?  Does my immune system see my pancreas slacking on the job and decide maybe it should put in less than 100% as well?  Or is this all in my head?  Because as I said before, I'm just not quite right.

New year, fresh start . . .

The tree has been taken down, the presents are all put away, the decorations have been tucked safely away until next December and Pete's vacation has ended.  Although we are into our fourth day of the New Year, today is the first day that actually feels like the holidays are over.  Like it's time to get back to work and make a fresh start.

With that in mind, I thought I'd share some of my New Year's Resolutions.  I've got quite a long list this year, so I won't post them all here.  They are really more like goals rather than resolutions.  And many of them are just a starting point.  Small improvements to be met and then built upon to get things where I'd like them to be.  I plan to visit my list often and revise the resolutions as the year progresses.  But here's where they start . . .

• Keep my A1C under 6.5 all year long - there was a time when I never would have imagined this goal would be doable.  But with my pump and my CGM, I did it in 2009.  I am confident I can do it again in 2010!
  
• Lose 30 pounds - hopefully by July!
• Exercise five times each week.
• Eat at least two fruit and three vegetable servings each day - I'd eventually like to up this to seven total servings rather than five, but this is one I'm starting out slow on.
• Floss every other night - I know, I know.  It should be every night.  But every other night would already be an improvement from my flossing habits right now.  Hopefully by the end of the year I'll be in the habit and flossing every night though.
  
• Blog two or three posts each week - this is another one of those early goals I hope to improve upon as the year goes by.  My real goal would be to post every weekday, but I'm going to let myself start out slow.
• Comment on my friends blogs and get back to emailing replies to comments my friends leave - I feel like I haven't been the best friend lately (both on-line and in real life).  More comments and emails are my way of showing my love to my poor neglected friends.  Hopefully some of you have already noticed that I've been commenting more over the past four days?
• De-clutter- we've got a lot of stuff in our house that we simply don't need, and we have a serious lack of storage space.  This will be the year I finally toss or donate what we don’t use or need and organize what we are keeping.
• Read at least one book each month - I used to love to read.  Somehow I let knitting and wasting time on the computer lure me away from that hobby.

So there you have it.  Quite a list, I know, but I also think they are very doable.  What about you?  Have you put together a list of resolutions??