MeMe Monday - Honesty

If we're going to be honest, I should start by admitting this isn't actually a meme.  It's a note I was tagged with on FaceBook.  But isn't that kind of the same thing?  I never got around to filling this out on FaceBook, so I figured I might was well use it for MeMe Monday.

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY.

1. What was the last thing you put in your mouth? An organic banana.

2. Where was your profile picture taken? It was taken on the beach in Westport on our wedding day.

3. Can you play Guitar Hero?  I don't know, I've never tried.  What do you have to do?

4. Name someone who made you laugh today?  Does K.C. count?

5. How late did you stay up last night and why? I was up until 10:30 wasting time on the internet.

6. If you could move somewhere else, would you?  I don't know.  I love my little house.  But a bigger house in a better neighborhood would be nice.  I don't think I'd want to leave New England though.

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks?  I don't specifically remember, but I'm sure Pete and I must have kissed while watching fireworks at Disney World.

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you on your FaceBook list?  My husband, of course!!

9. Do you believe exes can be friends?  I think they can.  Although I'm not friends with any of my exes.  At least not the ones I was very serious with.

10. How do you feel about Dr Pepper?  It's good, but I don't drink it often.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard?  Thanksgiving night.

12. Who took your profile picture? My friend Dave.

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of?  Person?  I guess K.C. doesn't count.  Hmmm, this is a tough one.  Probably the last time I took a pictures of a person was when I kinneared (it is a real word!!) Nikolai Morozov at a skating show in September.  Want to see?

14. Was yesterday better than today?  You bet.  Mondays are the worst.

15. Can you live a day without TV? I'm sure I could.  But why would I want to try?

16. Are you upset about anything?  Of course I am.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? Of course they are.  What kind of stupid questions are these??

18. Are you a bad influence?  Probably not.  Unless you need someone to talk you out of eating chocolate or buying yarn.  Then most certainly yes!!

19. Night out or night in? Night in with comfy clothes and good snacks.

20. What items could you not go without during the day?  Probably my lap-top computer, my coffee and my cat.

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? My Dad's twin brother.

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say?  I don't text.  But my last email was from Harry, telling me I should spin K.C.'s fur into yarn.  Funny guy, that one.

23. How do you feel about your life right now?  Life?  What life?  I'd need to have a life to be able to tell you my feelings about it!

24. Do you hate anyone?  Hate is a very strong word.  I am displeased with a few people, but I'm not sure I hate them.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook inbox, what would we find?  A message from my brother-in-law.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? Absolutely, unless they were screening for insulin or blood pressure and cholesterol medications.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? My husband, but he's very biased.  I am far from perfect, as is any one human.

28. What song is stuck in your head?  I didn't have one stuck in there, but when I read this question Brick House suddenly started playing in my head.  I don't know why.  (You didn't really expect me to link a Commodore's video, did you?)

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., a secret lover or George Clooney?  Couldn't George Clooney be my secret lover?  Okay then, I guess no one is knocking at 2 a.m.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50?  That is clearly impossible.

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow?  Get my blood work done.

32. Do you think too much or too little?  Way too much!

33. Do you smile a lot?  I think so.  I also glare a lot.

Bonus Round...

34. How many hours a day do you spend on the computer?  Far too many.

35. If you could be anyone else for a day, who would you be? Hmmm, that's a hard one. Hopefully some one really cool!

36. Facebook or Twitter?  I like them both, but for different things.

37. Chicken or Beef?  Yes please.

38. Mac or PC?  I considered both when I needed a new computer.  Finances made me stick with a PC.  I'm fine with that.

39. Have you ever punched anyone in the face?  Not intentionally, but things happen on a crowded dance floor.

40. Last music received or purchased?  Eeee, okay, I was feeling sentimental and bought The Rose from iTunes.  I'm slightly embarrassed about this.  (Also, no one skates to The Rose - so it's Bette in the link this time!)

Sunday Snapshots . . .

It's the last day of the long holiday weekend.  And as fun as it's been, I'm pretty wiped out from all of the socializing . . . and eating!!  So instead of going out to snap pictures today, I'm posting some of my favorites from my hard-drive.

I took this picture in St. Thomas during the cruise we took to celebrate our 5th anniversary.   That was my favorite day of the whole cruise and this is my favorite picture.  It takes me right back to our perfect day on that beautiful island.

This is Charlie during the only Christmas we got to spend with him.  He got quite a few presents, including the Kiddy Condo you can see on the far left.  Of course, he wasn't at all interested in anything we bought him.  Instead he decided he loved Pete's new back-pack and would curl up on it for a nap any chance he got!

Of course, I have to follow a picture of Charlie with a picture of K.C.  Wouldn't want her to get jealous, would we?  This was taken within minutes of bringing her home from the shelter.  I was thrilled that she climbed right into my lap.  Knowing her as well as I do now, I think she was absolutely terrified to be in a new place.  But I'm happy that she felt protected by me right from the start.

I LOVE this picture!  It's my Mom, my uncle and my aunt.  It really shows their personalities.  My uncle, hamming it up with that toy gun in his hand.  My mom, carefully trying to balance her birthday cake so she doesn't drop it.  And my aunt, ready to dig in!

Me, at Webs, meeting The Yarn Harlot.  She agreed to hold my sock, and asked me to hold her Traveling Sock!!  For a knitter, life doesn't get much better than that!

And last but not least, my SweetPea.  He emailed this picture they took of him at work getting an award.  He's pretty awesome, isn't he?

Back to the Beginning . . .

Well, it's day 28 of NaBloPoMo. And I've got absolutely nothing to post about. Really, I've wracked my brain and I can't think of a thing. So I decided to go back . . . . way back. I'm going to re-run one of the first posts I ever wrote for this blog, since it will probably be new to most of you!  Actually, I wrote this for my blog on DiabetesFriends.net - I used to post there before I started this blog.  This is the second post I did.  I'm not running the first, because it was just a boring little introductory post.

Needles, Needles, Needles

Anyone who is a diabetic is very used to needles. Blood draws, finger sticks, and for some, insulin injections. How many times a year do we deal with needles? Too many.

I've never really thought much about it, and never found anything good in the fact that I jab myself all the time. Until this week.

This is Charlie, a sweet little 16+ year old kitty we adapted four months ago. In the past two weeks, he has suddenly become very sick. He has feline renal failure (and isn't kidney failure something we all fear as diabetics as well?). He is also severely dehydrated. If we can get him strong again, we may be able to manage his kidneys with medication. So how do we get him strong again? Well, every day I have to hook him up to an I.V. for 5 - 10 minutes. When the vet asked if I would be comfortable handling the needles, I was happy to be able to say yes.

Mind you, I was surprised to find out it is much harder to stick someone else than it is to stick yourself. The pain I feel every time I insert the needle into my poor little guy is much sharper than any pain from a needle I've given myself. But it's making him better, and that's the best news ever! So today, I am very thankful for needles and for my familiarity with them.

*** Unfortunately, we lost Charlie on February 9, 2008, just a few days after I wrote this post. I still miss him a lot.

'Tis the Season

Now that Thanksgiving is behind us, I suppose it's time to look ahead to Christmas and start getting into the spirit.  How do I make that happen?

By indulging in my first Gingerbread Latte of the season.  It certainly won't be my last!  Some how the holiday stresses seem to lighten up when I catch a glimpse of that little gingerbread man dipping his toes into my coffee.

What holiday treats do you look forward to all year long?  Have you indulged in any yet?

Giving Thanks

The turkey has been eaten.  The pies have been served.  The boluses (boli??) have been programmed.  The thanks has been given.  What two things am I most thankful for?

The two loves of my life!!  What else am I thankful for?  Here's a not-so-serious list . . .

• all my yarn
• the fact that while my home-made ravioli were a bunt, my home-made cranberry sauce was a grand slam!  Hey, wait, I'm not into baseball, I'm into figure skating.  Okay, the fact that while my home-made ravioli were a single lutz, my home-made cranberry sauce was a quad-toe loop!
• the fact that I'm not into baseball, I'm into figure skating.
• big sharp needles needles on the infusion sets and CGM sensors and the smelly insulin, because even though they stink and hurt, they also keep my alive and healthy.
  
• my family.  Even the uncle who told me today how fat I am.  Twice.  Really, he honestly did.  Yes, I am even thankful him.
• the fact that I didn't cry in front of everyone after talking to that uncle.
• that there are only four more days left of NaBloPoMo.  Seriously, any more and I probably wouldn't make it!!
  
• that both my father's twin and my mother's sister were released from the hospital and got to spend Thanksgiving at home with their families.
  
• did I mention all the yarn???

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving too!!

Not again!!!!

Yesterday my CGM sensor started to bother me a little bit.  Considering what happened last time you would I think would have pulled it out right away.  I didn't.  But when it was so sore that it woke me up at 2 am, I took it right out.  Squinting as the bathroom light attacked my sleepy eyes, I saw this.

That's right, another welt. Not only did I see it, but I could feel it too.  Quite a lump was left behind where the sensor came out.  This picture was actually taken 12 hours after I took the sensor out.  It doesn't hurt any more, but it still looks bad.

 I have no idea what is going on with these sensors.  I've always been able to wear them for 6 to 8 days without a problem.  But these last two haven't even lasted four days.  Has Minimed changed how they make them?  Is there something new in them that my body can't seem to tolerate?  I plan to call and find out.  But I'd love to know if any other Minimed CGM wearers have been suddenly having problems too.  If you wear one, please comment and let me know if they are working fine for you or not.  I'm starting to get aggravated, but with the nasty low I had on Sunday I really don't want to go without my CGM.

Scary Low . . .

Usually lows don't bother me. Usually my body handles them really well. Usually I eat a little something or drink a little juice and everything is okay.  Usually.

Sunday night was not usual.  Sunday night was damn scary.

Much of it is very foggy.  I remember sitting in bed with my pump and meter.  I couldn't quite figure out what my pump was.  I kept turning it over and around, trying to figure out which end was the top and which was the bottom.  I kept pressing buttons but none of the screens made sense.  I also didn't know how to turn on my meter or what it was supposed to do.  Pete was wide awake beside me, telling me it was okay and I should drink my juice.  I told him I couldn't, but thank goodness I drank it anyway.  He said I kept saying I didn't know what happens next.  I think I resisted drinking the juice because even though I was confused I knew that I generally stay away from juice because it raises my blood sugar.  I also think when I kept saying I didn't know what happens next I was trying to say that I knew I had to punch the carbs from the juice into my pump and bolus but I couldn't figure out how to do it.  Out of frustration, I kept begging Pete to show me how to work the buttons.  He calmly told me he didn't know how and that I should just relax and drink the juice.

I remember I kept disconnecting my pump because I didn't know how to work it.  Then I would reconnect it because I knew I'm always supposed to wear it.  Pete ran downstairs and got a spoonful of frosting for me to eat.  I suddenly decided I had to check my blood.  Pete said it was a bit soon to test again but to go ahead and do it anyway.  Some how I managed to remember how to work the meter.  The screen flashed 33.  Somewhere in my mind, that number seemed familiar.  I guess I was starting to come out of the fog, because I asked for another juice box.

After I downed that, things really started to clear up.  I could remember how to work my pump as well as my meter.  According to Pete, I had woken him up and told him I needed help.  (Thank goodness for that!!)  According to my CGM log, my low alarm went off at 10:51 telling me I was 55.  It rang again at 11:12 to say I was 41.  At 11:31 it reported that I was below 40.  I don't remember hearing or clearing any of those alarms - I just remember dreaming about being on Cape Cod.  According to my meter, I tested my blood sugar at 11:35 and it was 33.  That's why the number 33 seemed familiar when I did the second test at 11:46 and was still at 33.

Once the fog cleared, I realized I was soaked with sweat.  The chills hit hard and my teeth started chattering.  I was pretty freaked out by what had just happened.  I felt terrible for disrupting Pete's sleep on a work night and for frightening him so badly with my incoherent ramblings.  At midnight we tested again and I was up to 49, and three hours later I was 172.

I can't tell you how lucky and blessed I feel that Pete was there.  I am so proud of how calm he stayed through the whole thing.  He held it together and did everything right.  He was *thisclose* to calling for an ambulance when the fog cleared and I started making sense again.  I can't imagine how scary the whole thing was for him.

Yesterday I was wiped out and freaked out all day long.  Pete called me several times more than he usually does to check on me.  Every time I heard his voice, I started to cry.  From gratitude for what a wonderful care-giver he is.  From guilt for putting him through such a terrifying situation in the middle of the night.  From pure exhaustion that made me more emotional than usual.

I've always handled low numbers well.  A few weeks ago I woke up with a blood sugar below 20.  I know, because I tested three times to confirm.  13, 19, 16 were the numbers my meter reported back.  I was sweaty, but clear-headed and otherwise fine.  I drank juice and petted the cat until my blood sugar went back up to 83.  Then I went back to sleep.  Easy as pie - which would have come in handy with a blood sugar below 20!!

Why was that 33 so terrible and that 19 no problem?  Who knows?  Maybe The Big D was cranky Sunday night.  It's been around 20 years since I've had a low that left me so out of it.  I honestly hope it's 20 more before the next Scary Low.

Meme Monday - Couple's MeMe

I saw this MeMe over on Allison's blog.  It's probably more than you ever wanted to know about me and Pete . . . but it is MeMe Monday.  So here we go.

How long have you been together?
Our first date was on June 26, 1999.  We were married on June 26, 2004.  Because I'm dorky like that.

How long did you know each other before you started dating?
We met in March of 1999.  It's kind of a long story, but also kind of amusing.  A friend of mine kept asking me to go to a Singles Group with her.  I wasn't interested - I was convinced there wouldn't be any "good" guys there.  She talked another friend into going with her.  They both used to pester me to go with them.  One week, the Singles Group meeting was going to be at a restaurant that made The Best nachos so I agreed to go - just for the nachos.  I met Pete that night and decided the Singles Group wasn't that bad.  The rest is history.  Oh, and those two friends who talked me into going to the group?  They are both still single.

Who asked whom out?
I gave him my phone number.  Actually, I was too chicken, so a friend gave it to him for me.  A few days later, he called and asked me out.

How old are each of you?
Oh geez, you would have to ask.  No snickers, okay?  I am 41.  Pete is 35.  Shut up.

Whose siblings do you see the most?
Pete's.  My brother is in Colorado and we only see him every few years.  Pete's brother was in Virginia.  Then he was in Utah for a while, so we didn't see him much.  Now he's renting an apartment a few towns away from us until the New Year, so we see him several times a week.

Did you go to the same school?
No.  Even if we had grown up in the same town, we wouldn't have ever been in the same school at the same time.  Unless I stayed back a few years or he skipped a few grades - or both.

Are you from the same home town?
We aren't even from the same home state.

Who is smarter?
I'm not really sure.  We both did really well in school.  Pete probably uses more knowledge on his job.  I probably have more common sense and a better memory.

Who is the most sensitive?
Most certainly me.

Where do you eat out most as a couple?
I'm not sure we really have a favorite place.  It depends on what kind of food we're in the mood for.  We are lucky to have a bunch of really great restaurants in this area.

Where is the furthest you two have traveled together as a couple?
Probably to San Diego last February.  (Hi George!!)

Who has the craziest exes?
I don't know.  Me?  I certainly have the most exes.  (That doesn't make me sound trampy, does it??)

Who has the worst temper?
Me me me me me!!!!  Poor Pete, I don't know how he puts up with me!

Who does the cooking?
I do.  Pete's not a bad cook.  But he's a slow cook.  And a very messy cook.  So I do most of the cooking.  He usually makes breakfast on the weekends though.  And if we want chicken cutlets, he always makes them.  His are a lot better than mine.  Not sure why, but they are always so juicy and yummy.  (Great, now I'm hungry.)

Who is the neat-freak?
That's me again.  He is a slob.  When he had his apartment in New Jersey and we were doing the long-distance thing, I used to take a week of vacation time to stay with him a few times a year.  I always spent the first few days cleaning his apartment.

Who is more stubborn?
I was going to say me again, but he's pretty stubborn too.  In a battle of wills, he's usually the one who gives in though.

Who hogs the bed?
Not me this time!!!  He constantly migrates to my side of the bed in his sleep.  K.C. sleeps on my side too.  I have no room!!

Who wakes up earlier?
On week days, he gets up first and I get up while he's eating breakfast.  On weekends, I'm always the first one up.

Where was your first date?
Tavern On Main. After dinner, we walked on the beach and sat on a bench and talked.  Years later, he brought me back to the same bench to propose.  It's the bench I am sitting on in the picture at the top of this post.

Who is more jealous?
I think it's probably a tie on that one.

How long did it take to get serious?
We had been dating for 6 months when he got the job offer in New Jersey.  I told him the choice was his, but that I wouldn't do a long-distance relationship again.  (I had been in one with my college boyfriend after graduation and it ended in a mess.)  Pete decided the job was too good to pass up.  I decided being with him was too good to pass up.  I think the minute I decided to do the long-distance thing again, it got serious.

Who eats more?
I always give him a larger portion of dinner.  So I'll say he does. 

Who does the laundry?
Me.  But when I was working, we both pitched in and did it.

Who’s better with the computer?
Probably me.

Who drives when you are together?
He always does the driving.  We never talk about it though.  We usually use my car, and I just hand him the keys on our way out the door.

Sunday Snapshots . . .

Today was a good day.  It started with a big cup of coffee and time to browse through a new magazine that came in yesterday's mail.

Which inspired me to do a bit of baking using one of the new recipes in the magazine.  It was a huge success.

Then there was a walk along the seawall in town.

We all enjoyed the view, especially Chloe, my brother-in-law's dog.  (My dog-niece??)

The walk continued along the beach.

Where there was a sign with a sense of humor!  I loved this.

We even took some great pictures of my latest finished knitting project.  And some not so great ones as well.

I could use more Sundays just like this one!

"Bee" My Honey . . .

A year or so ago, we noticed something going on in the yard next door.  At first we thought our neighbor was putting in a garden.  Then we noticed some weird box-like things going in.  When we saw him out there in a full beekeeper's suit, we finally knew what was going on.  Our neighbor was raising bees!  I thought it was really cool.  Pea wasn't as thrilled.  He was stung when he was little and his mother rushed him to the ER.  He was fine, but traumatized.  And still screams like a girl whenever we see a bee.  (But that's our little secret, okay?)

As time went on, Pea stopped being so paranoid about the bees.  We really don't see many of them in our yard. After all, they have a bee paradise next door, so why would they venture to the bee ghetto that our yard must be?

Bee Paradise

As we found out yesterday, having a neighbor who raises bees had a big advantage.  That advantage is fresh honey!  Our neighbor brought over a jar yesterday.  We spread it on our toast this morning and it was the best honey I've ever tasted in my life!!

Mmmmmm, Honey

Honey is a sugar and has carbs, but it's low on the glycemic index with a value of 55.  According to CalorieKing, one tablespoon has just over 17 grams of carbs.  And believe me when I tell you, this honey is most definitely bolus-worthy!!  I can't wait to try baking with this stuff.  I already have plans for some home-made granola sweetened with just this honey.  And a couple of loaves of honey-wheat bread.

Do you have any good honey recipes to suggest??

At what cost?

The other day I mentioned getting a "Sensor Error" during my ballroom lesson.  I turned the sensor off but left it intact on my tummy.  The next morning I restarted it.  It was working great.  At lunch, my sensor read 77 and my finger-stick read 76.  It stayed right on track, never varying its reading more than 10 points from my blood sugar machine.

So I was a bit irked yesterday when it started to feel sore.  Every time I leaned a certain way I felt a pang.  It was uncomfortable, but it was working great.  And even with insurance, the sensors are expensive.  I decided I could live with the discomfort for a few more days.

I didn't last more than a few hours.  By last night, it was really bothering me.  I could see redness on the skin around the sensor.  Yes, it was working fine and yes, the sensors are expensive - but I didn't care.  I carefully peeled off the tape and gently removed my transmitter and sensor.  And when I saw what was underneath, I was very glad I did.

The darker spot to the right is where the cannula (or whatever it's called on a sensor) was.  They don't usually leave me with such blotch.  The red bump on the left?  I have no clue what that is, but my skin was definitely very irritated.

Speaking of irritated, I got pretty irritated with myself.  If I had pulled the sensor when it first started to bother me, it might not have been so bad.  I wear them all the time without a problem - so if I was feeling pain I should have been smart enough to know something was wrong.  If I had left it longer, I might be dealing with a nasty infection today.  As it is, the red splotches still look as bad as they did last night and are almost as sensitive.

Yes, diabetes supplies are expensive.  It's tempting to use them as long as possible.  But at what cost?  Is it worth a nasty infection to get two more days out of a sensor that is feeling painful?  It isn't and I'm so glad I came to my senses last night and pulled it out.

Bloopers!!!!

I am totally stealing Kerri's idea of posting a blooper reel because I have no other blog content.  Unfortunately, before I took my "Making Movies" course, I never saved any of my raw footage.  I always shot in one take because I didn't know how to edit clips together.  If I made a mistake, I stopped the camera, deleted the video and started again.  So the only footage I have to work with is from my hobby vlog.  Luckily, I suck in front of the camera, so there were a few clips just waiting to be put on a blooper reel!!

Doing what we have to . . .

As I made my way around the D-OC today to see what people were blogging about, I came across Amy's WayBack Wednesday post and I thought it was funny.  Not Funny Ha-Ha, but Funny-Odd.  Why?  Well, because last night I was in the exact situation she wrote about.

Pete and I had our weekly ballroom lesson.  As we floated around the dance floor (okay, more like stumbled) I heard the shrill beeps of my pump alarm mixing with the music.  The alarm always rattles the ballroom instructors a little, because they know a low is "bad".  After all, I've had to put many a lesson on hold while I slurped down some juice or chomped on some Smarties so I can continue to cha-cha / swing / samba.

This time the message on my pump simply said "Sensor Error".  I told Peter (the instructor) and Pete (the husband) that I would just turn the sensor off.  Peter was concerned, so I began explaining the two parts - the pump and the CGM.  I told him the pump gives me my medicine and was working fine.  The CGM just keeps track of my blood sugar, so turning it off was okay.  I'd still be getting the medicine I needed.

I was pleased that he was interested and even began to ask some more questions about the CGM and finger-sticks and such.  And then, just as in Amy's post, he got That Look on his face and said "I hate needles, I could never do what you do."  I assured him that he could.  No, the needles are not always easy.  But after almost 30 years, I'm used to it and it isn't that big of a deal.  (Although I still dread the CGM needle!!)  When given two choices - inject your insulin or die - the choice is pretty easy. He still didn't look convinced.

The more I think about it today, the more I see both sides.  Yes, the choice is easy.  Inject or die?  Injections are going to win every time.  So in a sense we are not being brave, we are just doing what we need to do to live.  But when I think about it a little more, maybe we are braver than we give ourselves credit for.  Not only do we stick and jab and poke.  But we face and fight this disease every day.  We navigate the frustrations and triumphs.  We try to let the ignorance and rudeness roll off our backs.  We have the threats of complications nagging in the corners of our minds.  But we keep on going.  And tomorrow, we'll get up and do it all again.  Yes, I'd say we are pretty brave after all.

Blue for World Diabetes Day . . .

Something kind of odd happened on World Diabetes Day.  I found myself feeling extremely alone, very isolated and quite depressed.

Don't get me wrong, I was thrilled that so many great events were going on around the country.  I was happy for all of my D-OC friends who were able to participate in them.  I think The Big Blue Test was fabulous.

Pete and I had planned to go to NYC for the pizza party Allison organized but our finances conspired against us.  Round-trip train fare just wasn't in the budget this month.  So instead we dressed in blue and we went to the mall to find ideas for our Christmas Wish Lists.

Walking around the mall is usually a fun activity for me, but Saturday that wasn't the case.  I looked at the throngs of people and wondered if anyone knew or cared why I wore blue.  I wondered if they had ever even heard of World Diabetes Day.  Did they notice that I pricked my finger and tested my blood in the Food Court before lunch?  Could they spy my insulin pump clipped to my pocket and did they have a clue what it was?  I don't think they did.

I guess maybe I live in my little bubble, "The D-OC Bubble", a bit too much.  I love being a part of such a supportive community.  I love sharing the struggles and triumphs on our blogs and on Twitter.  I love that we all just get it.  I forget that life isn't always like this until the bubble bursts and I'm out in the "Real World".

I'm not really sure how to wrap up this post.  I guess I don't really have a point.  I wasn't even sure I wanted to blog about this - I thought it might be better to hide behind a fake but cheerful exterior and keep my feelings of isolation to myself.  But a dear friend encouraged me to come clean and share.  I think it was the right call.  Because maybe someone else felt alone on WDD too and will be comforted by the fact that I understand completely.  And we can be alone together.

Meme Monday - Thanksgiving Meme

I saw this new Meme last night over at Lynne's blog. Is Thanksgiving really next week already?  Well then, I guess I'd better get this Thanksgiving Meme done!  I'll preface this by saying I have never cooked a Thanksgiving dinner.  We always go to my parent's house for Thanksgiving.  I don't know what I'm going to do when their house finally sells and they move to Tennessee.  I just keep telling myself it will never actually happen.  Denial is a great coping mechanism.

1.What are the traditional favorites?  I guess our only tradition is to start the meal with "macaroni".  When I was little, we had Thanksgiving at my grandmother's every year.  The first course was always home-made fettuccine and ravioli.  We still start our Thanksgiving meal this way - although it's usually with either lasagna or those fresh pastas you buy in the grocery store.  Maybe this year I'll make the home-made macaroni just like Grammy did.

2.What new recipes will you try this year? We don't usually try any new recipies for the holidays.  Do you have one to suggest?

3.What part of the meal do you never compromise?  Mashed potatoes.  I HATE THEM and will never ever eat them.  No compromise.  My mom hates them too.  She always makes them for the rest of the family and makes baked potatoes for the two of us!

4.Who gets to carve the turkey?  My dad carves it every year.

5.Family style around the table or buffet style and everyone sits wherever there's room?  We always do dinner family style around the table - but all of the food my mom cooks never fits.  So the salad and pasta is served buffet style from the hutch.

6.How many will be at your table this year?  Unfortunately we'll be smaller than usual this year.  My brother is in Colorado.  My aunt and uncle won't be able to make it down from Maine, because my aunt was recently diagnosed with leukemia and is going through chemo.  So we'll have 7 of us - me and Pete, Mom and Dad, my other aunt and uncle and Pete's brother.

7.Three best pies for Thanksgiving dessert?  Although I don't like Pumpkin Pie, you have to serve it at Thanksgiving!  My favorite are Apple Crumb and Coconut Creme.  My mom usually has all three, and blueberry too.  Yes, that's right, seven people and four pies!!

8.Cranberry sauce...yeah or nay?  Nay - I don't like it.  And it always gets forgotten in the fridge - so even those who do like it don't get to indulge.

9.What time do you eat Thanksgiving dinner?  We usually go to my parent's house around 1:00 and sit down at the table around 2:00.

10.Favorite leftover?  That's a tough one, because I really like all of the leftovers.  I guess my favorites are the turkey and the pies.

Sunday Snapshots . . .

We didn't make it outside for a walk this weekend - rain, clouds and choirs kind of washed away any chance of snapping some pretty nature shots to share.  So instead, I'll share some of my favorite pictures of my little kitty cat.  Not that I take a lot of pictures of her or anything.  *grin*

I took this one when I dropped her off at the boarding place before Pete and I went on our cruise.  She looks so cute - but also so small and scared.  Yes, I cried when I left her there.  I cried a lot.

K.C. gets stuck modeling with yarn and knitting quite a bit.  She doesn't love it.  I love this picture because it looks like she's kissing the little yarny cat.  She's probably just trying to knock it off of herself using her head.

This is the day she decided to climb into the entertainment center and hang out for a while. I thought it was pretty funny. After all, she is very entertaining - so I guess the entertainment center is just the place for her.

I love this picture because it looks so ridiculous.  Some how, I caught her in mid-lick.  I love the look on her face.  Her eyes are so big, her tongue is sticking out.  It just cracks me up.

And in this one, she is sleeping peacefully in my lap.  Doesn't she look so sweet?  I melt every time I look at this one.

That's it for Sunday's Snapshots.  Hope you enjoyed it!!

World Diabetes Day

So, how did you spend World Diabetes Day?

Did you dress in blue?  I did!!

Did you raise awareness?  I hope I did, but putting up a post on my knitting blog with my Top 5 list of things NOT to say to a diabetic.

Did you do The Big Blue Test?  I kind of half did.  I was on my way to the mall at 2pm, but I tested and tweeted my 88.  Once we got to the mall we did a lot of walking but I forgot to tweet my post-walk results.  For the record, I was stuck in the low 60s for quite a while and had to keep sipping on a bottle of juice we purchased.

That was my day.  What else did YOU do to celebrate World Diabetes Day?

Finger pointer . . .

I'm usually not one to play the blame game.  I'm responsible for my own actions.  I make my own choices.  What I do is up to me and me alone.

But last night . . . well, last night just wasn't my fault.  Last night I didn't cook a healthy organic meal for dinner like I usually do.  Last night I ate this . . .

. . . and I blame it all on Kerri. After reading her post yesterday I couldn't think of anything else.  And oh my, was it bad.  It was so bad that it was awesome!!

The D-OC.  Great for advice, support, and a wicked-good fast-food craving just when you need it!

Corrupt MP3 . . . .

If I use the term "hate to sound like a broken record" would I be dating myself?  After all, in these days of CDs and instant music file downloads, who listens to records?  Surely there is a more current term.  (There is a more current term, and don't call me Shirley.)

Anyway, I hate to sound like a broken record corrupt MP3 file, but I must write another post about exercise.  Or my lack thereof.  Last week I was so gung-ho on getting back into an exercise routine.  Do you know how long it lasted?  That day.  Yup, you got it.  I haven't done a workout since last Tuesday.  Well, we did take that long walk on the beach on Sunday, so I guess I should give myself a little credit for that.  But honestly, this hit and miss exercise stuff just isn't cutting it.  My blood sugars have been a mess over the past week.  Lows that just won't quit.  Highs spiking up out of nowhere.  The past 24 hours have seen the best readings I've had in days - and that's only after running my basal rate at 130%.  This, while avoiding the spikes overnight and upon waking, also resulted in a 53 post-breakfast reading.

Pete and I have both felt like we are fending off some kind of germ this week.  But I know that's only a part of my lack of energy and blood sugar mess.  I know I need to get back to regular exercise.  I know exercise helps my body process my meals better.  It also helps me use my insulin better.  I don't see the big spikes after meals when I'm exercising.  So why can't I get myself to do it?  Am I just lazy?

I need help.  I need your best exercise tips and inspiration.  I don't want to keep writing this post over and over again!

Thank you to our Vets . . . .

Thank you to all of the veterans who have done so much for our country.  And thank you to all of the servicemen who are still sacrificing.  Here's hoping for the day we see peace on Earth.

Feeling Low . . .

I've been battling a low all afternoon.  Usually, I don't really mind lows.  Sometimes I'm low and it isn't that bad.  Sometimes I barely feel low at all.  Today is  not one of those days.

Today my low feels bad.  My brain is fuzzy.  My stomach is queasy from juice and candy corn.  My head hurts so badly that I just took some aspirin.  I'm so tired that I have no idea how I'm going to manage to get dinner cooked and on the table.  And I don't really care, since the juice and candy corn have left me with no desire to eat any dinner.

I don't know why I'm so low this afternoon.  I don't know why my blood sugar isn't coming back up.  I don't know why it's such a yucky, bad low.  I just know I want it to stop.

D-blog Day 2009

That's right, today is D-Blog Day!  Diabetes bloggers everywhere are posting inspiring stories, useful tips and deep thoughts.

It's late afternoon and I've got . . . nothing.  That's right, nothing - except maybe a raging case of Writer's Block.  On one of the most important days of the year to write a great diabetes blog post, I've lost my inspiration.

It's like that with diabetes sometimes too, isn't it?  Don't you ever get a raging case of Diabetes Block?  You feel like if you have to do one more finger stick, count one more carb gram, bolus one more unit, treat one more low or correct one more high; your head just might explode.  Yup, you've probably been there.  I sure have.

So today, I sat down in front of a blank New Post screen and wrote this post for you.  I kicked my Writer's Block to the curb.  And I want you to do the same for me.  Next time Diabetes Block comes calling just stick, count, bolus, treat and correct anyway.  Kick that D-Block right to the curb!!

Sunday Snapshots . . .

During NaBloPoMo, Sundays Snapshots are going to be a regular feature.  Today we went to visit my brother-in-law and took a long walk by the water.  Here's what we saw.

The weather was beautiful and so were the views.

Some times I forget how lucky I am to live on the coast.

When to boardwalk ran out, we walking along the beach.

Walking on the beach did quite a number on my blood sugar though.  I tested at 56, ate two rolls of Smarties, and was still only at 58 by the end of the walk.  Luckily I had plenty of Smarties left!

K.C.'s favorite cat toy . . .

I've bought here plenty of balls.  She'd got cat-nip mice galore.  She even has butterflies and lady bugs made of felt to bat around.  So what is K.C.'s most favorite cat toy of all?

That's right.  An empty drum from my Accu-Check Compact.  Of course, given the opportunity, she'd love to chance to swat around my pump tubing for a while.  I've managed to hold her off on that - so far . . . .

What does and doesn't offend me . . .

I'm fortunate enough to have a close-knit group of friends that I've known since the mid-80s.  We started hanging out when we all worked together at Stop and Shop.  Over 25 years there have been a lot of changes - far off colleges, weddings, kids, jobs, houses.  But through it all, our friendships have stayed strong.

Most of "the gang" at a wedding in 2000.

The latest person to be added to the fold is D's boyfriend M.  We love M, he's funny and sweet and a great addition to our group.  But it isn't always easy being the new guy in a group of friends who have been together since the days of crimped hair, day-glo clothes and Bartles and Jaymes wine coolers!  There is a lot of unspoken history there and I'm sure sometimes M feels hopelessly out of the loop.

A while ago we all went out for a night at our favorite casino.  As we settled into the deep velvet arm-chairs in the martini bar, the tech-addicted among us pulled out their phones to check for emails and texts.  I pulled out my meter for my pre-martini blood glucose check.  From across the table, M saw a gadget that was quite clunky by today's cell-phone standards and leaned over to L to snicker about how old my phone must be.  L told him that she was pretty sure it wasn't my phone, that I was checking my blood sugar.  M was mortified at the mistake.  Was I offended?  Heck no!  M had never seen me check my blood before, how was he to know?

A week later, we were all together again for a cook-out.  As the food was being grilled, I was busy punching my best SWAG bolus into my pump.  M walked by and blurted out "Girl, give the Tweeting a rest!  You are addicted!"  "Not Tweeting, M, I'm dosing my insulin with my pump."  To which M turned bright red and replied "Oh my gosh, I'm the biggest a$$hole going.  I can't believe I did this to you two weeks in a row." Was I offended this time?  Not in the least.  We shared a big laugh and a big hug and all was well.

I've known my best friend since kindergarten.  In sixth grade, we officially proclaimed ourselves "bestus buddies forever".  I'm part of her family and she's part of mine.

This is not an actual picture from the 80's - 

we're just dressed up for an 80's party.

A few years ago, we were at a Christmas party at her mom's.  As I sampled the fudge my best friend made, her sister - who is an ER nurse - marched up to me and said "How are you eating that?"  Was I offended this time?  You bet I was!  She's in the medical field, for goodness sake!  To be confronted by her and called out like that not only enraged me.  It made me so shocked and flustered that the best I could do was stammer on about carb counting and insulin dosing and blood sugar monitoring while my face turned as red as the Christmas trimmings.

Not everyone is going to know everything about diabetes.  I understand that.  If you mistake my equipment for some other gadget, that's fine.  If you politely ask if it's okay for me to eat something, I'll probably even let that slide.  But if you presume to know more about my treatment than I do and make comments that put me on the defensive, then you are just being rude!  I am not an idiot.  I've lived with the disease for almost 30 years and I'm healthy.  Give me a little credit, okay?

I wish every month was November.

You probably know by now that November is National Diabetes Awareness Month.  Every D-Blog I click over to is on board and working hard to spread the word.  But how many people outside the D-OC know that it's Diabetes Awareness Month?  I haven't seen any billboards.  No T.V. commercials.  No products on my grocery store shelves are sporting blue labels and pledging to donate to a cure.  My friends, there is still a whole lot of awareness that needs to be spread.  Here are some events I know of that are helping to do just that.

World Diabetes Day

November 14th is World Diabetes Day. The campaign this year is focusing on Diabetes Awareness and Prevention.  Be sure to proudly wear blue, participate in the Big Blue Test and take part in any activities going on near you.

ADA Stop Diabetes

Stop Diabetes is a new multi-year movement launched by the American Diabetes Association.  The aim here is to confront diabetes, fight diabetes and STOP diabetes.  Check out the site where you can join the movement.  You'll also find diabetes info, food and fitness tips and links to community events.  You can even share your diabetes story or video. For every story shared, $5 will be donated to the ADA.

EyeSmart

The aim of EyeSmart is to spread awareness about diabetic eye disease. I've seen many posts about the fear of going blind due to diabetes and that fear is not unfounded. According to the EyeSmart site diabetes is a leading cause of vision loss among Americans. Yet many of us are lax about getting our yearly dilated eye exam. I know I was, until my eye doctor found a leaky vessel in my eye in January 2008.  Since that time, I've been diligent about getting my eyes checked every six months.  Each time I go, the leak from the previous time has cleared up but another tiny leak is found.  So far, they are tiny enough to warrant nothing more than close monitoring.  My next appointment is already set up for March.  Are you ready to get "EyeCommitted" to saving your sight?  If so, click on the widget in my sidebar to find out more.
**Disclosure: I received this widget from a marketing agency.  As part of the eyeSmart initiative, a prize is offered to the blogger who generates the most awareness through their widget.  However, I am not posting the widget because I think I have a shot at the grand prize (although I would be thrilled to win).  I am posting the widget because I personally believe eye disease awareness and prevention is vitally important.**

What do you have planned to spread awareness and education this month? What interesting events and sites have you found?