Meme Monday - Karen Needs . . .

This is a really fun meme and it's also really easy to do.  Here’s how it works:

Google “[your first name] needs” in quotes so you will get that whole phrase strung together.  Share the first 10 results. That's it! It is that simple. But be honest!

1. Karen needs a man for no strings fun if interested call ###-####. - Oh my.  Just what kind of a girl am I?
2. Karen needs a VACATION. - I love vacations!!
3. Karen needs to crawl back in the cave she lives in and let the rest of the world progress towards the future. - Ouch, that's harsh.
4. Karen needs a friend...will u be dat 1? -Yo yo yo yo, here's the 411.  I needs a friend.  Dat would be phat!!
   
5. Karen needs a rest on Flickr. - I really don't think I abuse Flickr that much.  Although I have uploaded pictures of each and every skein of yarn I own.  So I guess I can understand why someone would think I need to give it a rest.
6. Karen needs a Lobotomy Fund. - Again, harsh!!  So I should crawl back into my cave and get a lobotomy?
7. Karen needs some gin. - Well, yeah.  You would too after those insults!
8. Karen needs to push herself, to give us the goods, the guts, the gore. - You want guts and gore?  And here I was blogging about yarn and glucose levels.
   
9. Karen needs your help. - Apparently I need an intervention after all that gin.
10. Karen needs to learn the basics of spending and budgeting. - Not true.  I'm organized and compulsive enough to have a detailed budget spreadsheet where I log our spending.  Right now, we've spent less than our allotment.  Even with all that gin I bought!!

Okay, Google away and tell me what you need!!

What keeps me "sane" . . .

Chris from A Consequence of Hypoglycemia did a fancy vlog about what hobby gives him a much needed break from diabetes and keeps him sane.  I thought I'd give you a look at my favorite hobby too!

This vlog is not as fancy as Chris's; he's obviously a video master! And I'm still pretty uncomfortable in front of the camera - which shows when I babble on and on while completely forgetting basic rules of grammar!!  But I did a vlog anyway.  Now it's your turn.  What hobby do you reach for when you need a little break?

Diabetes, stop messing with me!!

One of the most frustrating things about diabetes is that you never know what to expect.  Monday I spiked before I ate dinner, only to land squarely at 99 by bedtime despite some cheesecake for dessert.  And Tuesday?  Tuesday evening was even more confusing.

Pete and I had our ballroom lesson and then stopped at Panera for dinner.  Aside from liking Panera's soups, salads and sandwiches, I also love that their carb counts are readily available.  I easily tallied up the carbs in my dinner and bolused.

A few hours later, I was playing around on the computer and felt a little low.  My CGM showed me heading down towards the 70s.  I knew I should test, but instead I just ate a big spoonful of peanut butter and a Dove Promise.  About 20 minutes later my low alarm went off.  I was starting to get that cloudy feeling in my brain and I was suddenly very sweaty.  I couldn't remember where my meter was.  I called for Pete, who brought it in from the kitchen and waited while I tested.  39 flashed on the screen and Pete ran for a juice box, which I quickly downed.  I knew the 13g of carbs might not be enough, so Pete brought my favorite treatment for a very-low low . . . a spoonful of chocolate frosting.

After finishing that, I started to have that overwhelming urge to keep eating.  I went to the kitchen and got another spoonful of frosting.  Then I devoured one of those fruit strips Kerri turned me on to.  A strawberry one.  I wanted a grape one too but Pete was adamant that I had eaten plenty and I needed to stop.  So I waited until he went upstairs and snuck one, quietly wolfing it down before he returned.  Yes, I am five years old!

Fifteen minutes later I tested again and was 68.  I got washed up for bed and did one last finger-stick . . . 83.  I debated taking a unit or two of insulin because I knew I had over-treated.  Pete talked me into letting it go and this time I listened to him.  We knew my CGM would alarm me of the impending high and I could just correct then.

Sure enough, at 3 a.m., the shrill of the CGM woke me.  I looked at the screen to see just how high I was . . . and was shocked to see it reporting a 68.  "This thing is not working." I said out loud to no one, since Pete was sound asleep.  I did a finger-stick to see how far off it was.  Turns out, it was only off by one point.  My blood sugar was 69.  "What the ^@%$*#." I said to K.C, who had come to investigate.  She stared blankly back at me - partly because she has yet to understand the intricacies of diabetes.  And partly because at 3 a.m. all she is interested in is a scoop of kibble or a scratch underneath her chin.

I thought about eating a few carbs, but I decided against it.  I've been waking up consistently around 100 every morning and I know that by 3 a.m. I start to rise a bit.  So I went back to sleep.  Three hours later, my fasting blood sugar was 58.

I just don't understand.  I ate a big spoonful of peanut butter, a Dove Promise, a Motts Tot's juice box, two big spoons of chocolate frosting, a strawberry FruitaBü and a grape FruitaBü.  And according to my CGM graph, I never went higher than 107.  Yet Monday I had salad and an apple for lunch and soared into the 200s.

Diabetes, stop messing with me!!!

Meme Monday - I've Come To Realize . . .

I first saw this on Lee Ann's blog last week.  Then on Crystal's.  Then it seemed every blog I clicked on had it posted.  So,  being desperate for blog content  the follower I am, I decided to jump on the bandwagon and do it too. Spoiler Alert: If you manage to hang in and read my answers to all 35 questions, there's a cute kitty picture at the end.  

1. I’ve come to realize that my chest-size…
is something I'm okay with, but don't really need to blog about.

2. I’ve come to realize that my job…
will never happen if I keep convincing myself I will fail before I even try.

3. I’ve come to realize that when I’m driving…
I'm constantly singing along (off-key and loudly) to the radio.

4. I’ve come to realize that I need…
more yarn.  (I hear you laughing.  Stop that!!)

5. I’ve come to realize that I have lost…
the feeling that I'm actually contributing to society in any way.

6. I’ve come to realize that I hate it when…
a bad low or high blood sugar makes me feel so crappy that Pea has to cook dinner while I rest.

7. I’ve come to realize that if I’m drunk…
I shouldn't have had that second martini, but it tasted so good and I'm having fun!!

8. I’ve come to realize that money…
can stretch farther than you think if you budget carefully.

9. I’ve come to realize that certain people…
think they know everything even when they don't, and will proceed to tell you all about it.

10. I’ve come to realize that I’ll always …
contradict myself - I blame it on the fact that I'm a Gemini.  No, wait, I never contradict myself!!

11. I’ve come to realize that my siblings…
includes my brother-in-law, who is the bravest and strongest person I know.

12. I’ve come to realize that my mom…
has passed along most of her mannerisms to me.  Also, her butt and hips - gee, thanks Mom.

13. I’ve come to realize that my cell phone…
went from being turned on once a week at most (when I had the old, out-dated phone with the terrible calling plan) to being on all the time and used obsessively for everything under the sun . . . except phone calls (yes, I now have an iPhone).

14. I’ve come to realize that when I woke up this morning…
I had a head-ache . . . again.

15. I’ve come to realize that last night before I went to sleep…
my blood sugar was low . . . still.

16. I’ve come to realize that right now I am thinking…
that my answers are way too boring and I should go back and spice them up a bit before I put my lovely readers to sleep.

17. I’ve come to realize that my dad…
really needs a pet, and when he comes to visit he's actually coming to see K.C. instead of me.  :)

18. I’ve come to realize that when I get on Facebook…
I need to avoid all of those silly games and quizzes or I'll spend way too much time there.

19. I’ve come to realize that today…
is the only Monday, September 21, 2009 there will ever be, so I need to make the most of it.

20. I’ve come to realize that tonight…
is going to be so much fun but also kind of sad.

21. I’ve come to realize that tomorrow…
should always be something to look forward to.

22. I’ve come to realize that I really want to…
be finished with this stupid meme.

23. I’ve come to realize that the person who is most likely to repost this is…
probably going to be a knit-blogger.  I think all of the diabetes-bloggers have posted it already.

24. I’ve come to realize that life…
never turns out the way you thought it would.

25. I’ve come to realize that this weekend…
I'm really excited about because we are going to see Stars Stripes & Skates, and it feels like the weekend will never get here.

26. I’ve come to realize that marriage…
is even more fun than I could have imagined.

27. I’ve come to realize that my friends…
that I rely on most are the ones I know over the internet, rather than the ones I know in real life.

28. I’ve come to realize that this year…
is almost 3/4 of the way over and that Christmas will be here before I know it.

29. I’ve come to realize that my ex is…
not the soul-mate I once thought he was.   But he is just as hot as I thought.

30. I’ve come to realize that maybe I should…
make more of an effort.

31. I’ve come to realize that I love…
having a cat - and that's something I never would have imagined saying two years ago, before Charlie came along.

32. I’ve come to realize that I don’t understand…
a lot of people in this world.  And I think that might be a good thing.

33. I’ve come to realize my past…
has left me with a lot of baggage, but hasn't everyone's??

34. I’ve come to realize that parties…
always make me so nervous that I'm tempted to skip them, but usually turn out to be a lot of fun.

35. I’ve come to realize that I’m totally terrified…
that no one has been able to stay awake long enough to read this whole meme!  After all, it put K.C. right to sleep!

What do you see?

Take a look at me.  Tell me, what do you see?

You may see my brown eyes, looking lovingly at my husband - or perhaps looking at him with some aggravation, depending on the day.

You may see my hands, holding five double-pointed needles with some thin yarn snaking through my fingers as I knit on the sock that dangles from the end.

You may see my clothes, the new dark-wash jeans I got on sale a few weeks ago - and perhaps you'll see a few cat hairs clinging to the legs.

You may see my purse, the huge tan leather bag that could probably stash said cat comfortably if I were inclined to bring her along.

You may see my shoes, the cute brown pumps that are surprisingly comfortable.

You may see my snack, probably a big cup of coffee and maybe a scone.


Now look again.  This time, instead of telling me what you see, let me tell you what you don't see.

When you look at my brown eyes, you don't see the two leaky blood vessels diabetes has caused - which my eye doctor must check every six months.

When you look at my knitting hands, you don't see how calloused and scarred the pads of my fingers are from the dozens of finger sticks diabetes requires each day to keep my blood sugar in line.

When you look at my new jeans, you don't see the small pocket I've sewn into the waistband to hold the insulin pump I need to wear all of the time to treat diabetes - nor do you see the Continuous Glucose Monitor stuck to my lower back.

When you look at my huge purse, you don't see that it isn't a hidden kitty that makes it bulge so - it's all of the diabetes supplies I must lug around.  The blood glucose machine, the spare infusion set, reservoir and battery, the emergency syringe and bottle of insulin, the fast acting carbs to ward off lows.

When you look at my pretty shoes, you don't see the risk of diabetes complications threatening my feet that I must check for each night.

When you look at my yummy snack, you don't see the wheels turning in my mind - trying to estimate just how many carbs are in that scone and how much buttery fat that will slow down my absorption of those carbs so I can attempt to punch the correct dosage on my insulin pump.


This week is National Invisible Chronic Illness Awareness Week.  When you look at me, chances are you can't tell that I live with a chronic illness.  You can't see that it fills every day with a million details and victories and failures.  You can't see that it touches everything I do - and everything I am. But look a bit closer . . . . deep into my eyes . . . . and you just might see how desperately I am STILL hoping for a cure.